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Greetings,
Welcome! Here we are, almost at the end of October
and not far from the year's end. Time is an interesting
phenomenon, isn't it? Sometimes it seems to move
very slowly, although more often I've found myself
saying how quickly it passes, there's not enough time
and I'll never get my to do list finished. At
least, that is the story I've told myself in the past. . .
Which brings me
to this month's Happiness Tool--Tool #5: The Power
of Language and Stories--from the book "What Happy
People Know" by Dan Baker Ph.D and Cameron
Stauth. Read on, and learn about the incredible effect
language and stories have on your life.
Feel free to revisit the first four
tools from my previous newsletters: Tool #1, Appreciation; Tool #2, Choice; Tool #3, Personal Power; Tool #4: Lead with Your Strengths.
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Happiness Tool #5:
The Power of Language and Stories
In their book "What Happy People Know," Dan Baker
Ph.D and Cameron Stauth pose some fascinating
questions about the far-reaching impacts of language
and stories. Why is language so powerful? What do
stories have to do with happiness? The answers lie in
the relationship between our words and our
minds.
According to Baker and Stauth, there is are two types
of language: constructive and destructive. Let's
examine them from the perspective of the Laws of Attraction, which I've
written about previously. Constructive language is
positive--it
attracts what we want as opposed to what we don't
want; it opens up doors of thought and action instead
of closing them down. Given the positive influence it
exerts on our minds and lives, constructive language
just feels better. Destructive language, on the
other hand, is fear-based and negative--it constricts,
limits, shuts down, suppresses, depresses. Not hard
to see why it produces such unpleasant feelings and
reactions.
Language, whether spoken out loud or as self-talk,
has an enormous impact on our
subconscious
mind--that hidden powerhouse which plays such a
key role
in shaping our lives. It's important, therefore, to listen
carefully to what we are saying! If our desire is to
create more happiness and expansion in our lives,
positive language is important.
So, how do you get a handle on language? Choose to
be aware of the words you use to describe your life
and the world around you. By simply paying attention,
you may become acutely aware that much of the
language you employ is surprisingly negative--"horror"
stories filled with destructive words and images. For
example, in this newsletter's introduction the initial
message was that time passes too quickly. Life flies
by.
There is so much to do. It's hard to get anything done.
How did that feel? Probably heavy and
dreary, rather than light and inspiring.
Now that you've experienced the effects of destructive
language, how can you shake the negative mindset?
Simply turn the story--and yourself--around by creating
a positive version: Wow, I'm amazed sometimes how
quickly time passes. I'm doing so many great things
in my life, checking out so many interesting paths, that
time just seems to disappear. How did that feel?
Probably much better! Use the suggestions below to
craft an example from your own life and see
which "story" leaves you feeling more expansive. End
with a positive version and notice its effect on your
day.
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Exercise: A Tale of Two Stories
This exercise will help you experience the power of
language
to influence your outlook. Choose some aspect of your
life to describe--finding a mate, landing your dream
job, losing weight. Start by telling your story in negative
terms: I can't (limiting); I shouldn't (constricting); it's
killing me (depressing/violent); I'm a jerk, fat, stupid
(degrading). For example:
- I'll never be able to lose all that weight.
- Finding a great partner is too hard. All the good
ones are taken.
- My job is killing me, but it's impossible to find a
fulfilling career.
Pretty depressing, huh? You probably want to climb
into bed, pull the covers over your head and never get
up. But, wait! Feeling better is just a matter of editing.
Turn your story around with positive language: I might
explore (expanding); perhaps I'll (possibility); what
works for me is (suggestion); I'm learning to (pat on
the back); I'm good at (appreciative). For
example:
- I'm exploring different foods to support me in my
weight loss program.
- There is an abundance of great people out there.
I'm open
to attracting a great partner!
- I'm really good with kids. Maybe I'll look into a
teaching career.
Aaaaah! Remember this exercise throughout the fall
and upcoming holiday season. Whenever you find
yourself telling a negative story or using
destructive language, stop, take a breath, and replace
the words
and/or story with one that feels good and promotes a
positive response
in you and others!
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To an expansive fall season,
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